Elem
by Dragonmanvirus0007
Summary: Hey! First chapter-fanfic. Humor and craziness abound! RATED T FOR LANGUAGE. This is after the series ends.
1. First Day

_**Alright, since this is my first "chapter-fanfic", please keep the flaming to a minimum. If it is constructive criticism, or suggestions for later chapters, I will accept those with gusto. Yep, I said "gusto".**_

…

…

_**Anyways…**_

_**Random Person 1: Hey!**_

_**Yes?**_

_**Random Person 2: Get on with the story!**_

_**Alright, alright, jussa sec. Where is he… (shouts) HEY SHORTY!**_

_**Ed: I'M NOT SHORT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE THAT?**_

_**Not enough. Now do what I called you here for.**_

_**Ed: Fine. Everyone, the author would be most grateful if you…**_

_**Say it…**_

_**Ed: REVIEW!**_

_**And I do not own FMA! (sad face)**_

_Narrator:_ A train arrives in the Amestris station. All the people depart, including one boy, aged 16. With wide eyes, he wanders around until he runs into a dude. He looks up to se who he ran into. The guy was _ripped_. And bald. But that wasn't the most noticeable feature, oh no. Not even his silver mustache, kept perfectly. He seemed to have _gitter_ coming out of who-knows-where. (_Narrator end_)

"Hello, there. Do you know that you are in a military zone? If you are not here on official business, please leave," said Mr. Glitter.

"Y-y-yes. I'm here for the um… um… um… oh yeah! The Alchemist Test, I think it was called?" the boy stuttered.

"Well, let me take you there. I was on my way there, anyways," said Mr. Glitter, ripping his shirt off. The kid was hit with a tsunami of glitter. Or was it sparkles? He wasn't sure.

As the kid rounded the corner, he saw Mr. Glitter chatting with none other than the Fürher! And, somehow, he got his shirt back on.

"So, General Armstrong, how goes everything?" asked the Fürher.

"Not so bad. I have an Alchemist hopeful with me; literally ran into each other," said Armstrong (a.k.a.: Mr. Glitter!)

"Really? Let me see him," said the Fürher.

"Ummmm… Not to be rude or anything, Fürher Mustang, but you can't see, since the forced human transmutation. Equivalent exchange and all," said the kid.

"… How do you know this?" asked Mustang, a stern look on his face.

_**Well, that's the first chapter! I hope you liked it! I know this is short, but I will try to do better. BTW, I don't own the story.**_

_**Kid: HEY!**_

_**What?**_

_**Kid: I don't have a name! What's up with that?**_

_**Shush. Your name is coming up in the next chapter.**_

_**Kid: Still, HE (points to Mustang) gets his name revealed, and so does HIM (points to Armstrong), and he even gets a temporary name! **__**I **__**only get called "kid"!**_

_**Shut up. Or do you want me to call you kid the entire story, hmmm?**_

_**Kid: …**_

_**Armstrong: Mr. Glitter?...**_

_**Mustang: REVIEW!**_


	2. WHAM!

_**Hello, everybody! I'm back! Here is the second chapter of the story.**_

_**Kid: Hello?...**_

_**Yes, what is it?**_

_**Kid: Do I get a name in this chapter?**_

_**Yes.**_

_**Kid: Yay!**_

_**Again, I only own my OC and the plot.**_

_**Armstrong: REVIEW!**_

"… How do you know that?" asked Mustang, a stern look on his face.

"I met some guys on the ride over here. They tell some pretty cool stories. You might know them," said the boy.

"Oh yes. He knows us," said one of the two guys, walking up behind the kid. "How's it going, Colonel, or should I say, _**FÜRHER **_Bastard?"

"Hello, Fürher Mustang," said the other.

"Hello Alphonse, no need to be so formal, we're all friends here. Hello Pipsqueak."

"WHO"RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT, HE RIDES A QUARK TO WORK? BESIDES, I'M ALMOST AS TALL AS YOU!" exploded the first guy.

"_Almost_," said Mustang, to the fuming person. "It's nice to see you too, Edward."

"So, when is that person you know coming?" asked the kid.

"She said that she will be here in a couple hours," said Edward.

"Oh, okay. Thanks for making the call," the kid said.

"Who are you talking about?" Mustang asked.

Suddenly…

_**WHAM!**_

"Edward Elric, if you broke your automail once again, I swear, I will-" shouted a woman carrying a multitude of toolboxes.

"Winry, wait! It's not about him this time!" interrupted Alphonse.

"Wow, Miss Winry, you have a great arm," said the boy.

"Thanks kid," said Winry, "Say, Al, why _did_ you two call me?"

All said nothing, he just pointed at the kid.

"Him?" asked Winry. Al nodded. "So, kid, what's your name, and where and why do you need automail?"

"Me? My name is Richard Xion."

_**Richard: YAY! I get a name!**_

_**Hush.**_

_**Richard: …**_

_**Ed: What happened with him?**_

_**Al: He has a huge weapon stash.**_

_**Ed: Oh.**_

_**Al: And a zombie army that obeys his every command.**_

_**Ed: Got it.**_

_**Al: And a-**_

_**Ed: I get it. Don't piss him off.**_

_**Basically. Hey, Al?**_

_**Al: …yes?**_

_**How do you know all that?**_

_**Al: …someone told me.**_

_**Who?**_

_**Al: I DON'T KNOW I SWEAR! HE DIDN'T TELL ME HIS NAME! (sob)**_

_**It's okay, Al. I won't hurt you. Just do what I told you earlier.**_

_**Al: (sniff) Really?**_

_**Really.**_

_**Al: Okay…**_

_**Al: REVIEW! (smiley face)**_


End file.
